Hopper Valley PTA ( song by Jackie Jackrabbit )

 

A song made popular by Jacky Jackrabbit.

Lyrics by Jerry Paycheck...

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I wanna tell you all a story 

'bout a Hopper Valley widowed wife

 

Who had a teenage daughter who attended 

Hopper Valley Junior High

 

Well her daughter came home one afternoon 

and didn't even stop to play

And she said  "Mom I got a note here from 

the Hopper Valley PTA"

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Well the note said, Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing 

your dresses way too high

It's reported you've been drinkin' and runnin' round 

with men and goin' wild..

And we don't believe you oughta be a-bringin' up 

your little girl this way.

And it was signed by the secretary, 

"Hopper Valley PTA"

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Well it happened that the PTA was gonna 

meet that very afternoon

And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson 

wore her mini-skirt into the room

And as she walked up to the blackboard, I still recall 

the words she had to say

She said I'd like to address this meeting 

of the Hopper Valley PTA

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Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there, and seven times 

he's asked me for a date

And Mrs. Taylor seems to use a lotta ice, 

whenever he's away

 

And Mr. Baker, can you tell us 

why your secretary had to leave this town?

   

And shouldn't widow Jones be told 

to keep her window shades a-pulled completely down

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Well Mr. Harper couldn't be here cause he stayed 

too long at Kelly's Bar again

  

And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath you'll find 

she's had a little nip of gin

 

And then you have the nerve to tell me, you think that 

as a mother I'm not fit

Well this is just a little Peyton Place, and you're all 

Hopper Valley hypocrites

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No, I wouldn't put you on because, it really 

did, it happened just this way

The day my momma socked it to, 

the Hopper Valley PTA

The day my momma socked it to, 

the Hopper Valley PTA

( THE END )

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DELTA JEW (TONYA TRUCKER)

 

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DELTA JEW, I FEEL GASSY HOW 'BOUT YOU ?

FROM THE CRADLE YOU WERE RAISED TO LIVE A LIE

AND IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A BEEF, 

KICK ME OUT THE AIRPORT TEL AVIV

I'M-A SEND YOU TO YOUR MANSION IN THE SKY

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FROM THE VERY START THEY CALLED HIM DELTA JEW

THE GREATEST CON THIS COUNTRY EVER KNEW

MOST DAYS YOU SEE HIM ROLLIN' 

THROUGH THE CLUELESS CITY STREETS

HE'S THE BIGGEST GODDAMN HACK YOU'LL EVER MEET

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HE'LL ALWAYS WEEP AND WAIL HOW THE GERMANS DONE HIM IN

WHILE SERVING YOU A SHIT SANDWICH WITH A GRIN

TELLIN' YOU HE BEEN MISTREATED, 

BUT HE'LL NEVER TELL YOU WHY

TRUST HIM AND YOU CAN KISS YOUR STATE GOODBYE..

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DELTA JEW, I FEEL GASSY HOW 'BOUT YOU?

FROM THE CRADLE YOU WERE RAISED TO LIVE A LIE..

AND IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A BEEF, 

KICK ME OUT THE AIRPORT TEL AVIV

 

I'M-A SEND YOU TO YOUR MANSION IN THE SKY

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DELTA JEW, I FEEL GASSY HOW 'BOUT YOU

FROM THE CRADLE YOU WERE RAISED TO LIVE A LIE

AND IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A BEEF, 

KICK ME OUT THE AIRPORT TEL AVIV

I'M-A SEND YOU TO YOUR MANSION IN THE SKY

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DELTA JEW, I FEEL GASSY HOW 'BOUT YOU

 

FROM THE CRADLE YOU WERE RAISED TO LIVE A LIE

AND IF YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR A BEEF, 

 

KICK ME OUT THE AIRPORT TEL AVIV

I'M-A SEND YOU TO YOUR MANSION IN THE SKY..

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DELTA JEW,  I FEEL GASSY HOW 'BOUT YOU?

TURNED THIS WORLD INTO A GODDAMN APPLEPIE..

AND IF YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR A BEEF, 

KICK ME OUT THE AIRPORT TEL AVIV

I'M-A SEND YOU TO YOUR MANSION IN THE SKY..

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HE'LL RUB HIS GREEDY LIL HANDS TOGETHER, 

SAYING 'I'LL GET WHAT IS MINE'

USE A FAKE ID EVERYTIME HE DOES A CRIME

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