Dairy Queen of the Lone Star State -- JIMMY BUCKWHEAT & HIS COWTIPPERS

 

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( ACAPELLA INTRO )

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( HUMMING )

( HUMMING )

( HUMMING )

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( MAIN VOCALS, MALE )

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Top Heavy Woman evrywhear ya goe

Mens fall into a Coma an' it goes to show

When you's a-walkin' roun' Town, your quite a Site to see

Your two Tits is bigger than a MANATEE..

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( GUITAR JOINS IN.. )

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I remember dat Day, a-strollin' down High Street

 

Top loaded like a Truck, but nimble on yer Feet

  

I gazed upon your ample Derrière

As you was raisin' Eyebrows in the Market Square

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Spit runnin' from the lips of evry Juvenile

Dem Names dey called you can't be put into an Audiofile

You's stopped an' aksed me foar a Cigarette

An' with a fiendish grin, took the last one i had

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I's aksed maself if yer Juggs helped ya pay yer rent

Ma Heartrate went ballistic, I was pitchin' a Tent

 

I took yer picture, Good Grace, My-oh-my

An' thought I's might as weyall kiss ma Viagra goodbye

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Like a Heifer in a Barn, you'd a-raise my Alarm

With moar Leche dan a Dallam County Dairy Farm

  

As yer Hips a-did swing, an' yer Eyes did gleam

I thought oh i'm-a Hook dis Bitch a-to a Milkin' Machine

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( SHORT INTERLUDE )

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Ma Brains whent bye-bye dat Friday Night

Coppin' a feel-a Dat Ass looked wrong but fealt so right

I's pictured yer in a Barn, a-dreyass uppa like a Cow 

Riite tween ma two Donkeys an' ma Breedin' Sow

 

As you's a-let out a Mooh, an yer Eyes a-roll back

 

I's thought gud Lard dat Trick mus' really be 

a treat in the Sack..

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(  INTERLUDE )

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We gots married on a Friday in a Honky Tonk   

Dere was no creature in dat Place-a dat yer didn't bonk

I gae thanks toe the Lard dat i met'cha dat day

 

An' passed ya 'roun like a Blunt, to Everyone dat could pay

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You's was-a booka like a Tramp an' from dem Revenues

 

I gots a 95' Ford, some Chew & some Booze

Even dem Clerk from Town Hall and the Reverend

Had a goe an dey saw it through to the End..

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As dose Toes-a cramp up, Legs-a startin' to twitch

  

I's thought Geeze, now ain' dat a nymphomaniac Bitch

   

An' i don' knoe fo shoe, but it seem to mee

Dem Day i mets yo' Dumb Ass, i's won tha Lottery..

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You's a real big breeder havin' tons-a fun

 

I no longer pop a Calcium on ma Mornin' Run

An our twin Baby Daughters Grace & Mary-Lou

Is Fowerteen an' gots even bigger Juggs dan you

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Now I's bought fower Combines, builts a bran' new Barn

Glad i brought yo' Dumb Ass a-to ma Dairy Farm

Everytime i hooks dat Udder to a Suction Device

You start-a Quiver an' Cream at the roll of a Dice

I's didn't know-a back theyan, but heyall i knows now

You's was-a born to become ma Pride Dairy Cow

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(  INTERLUDE )

(  INTERLUDE )

(  INTERLUDE )

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I's-a dress'cha in Prada, an' i's bough'cha Cologne

It never flipped yer switch, it never made ya moan

 Showed yer off at the Dairy Fair in San Antone

 Had yer pose with-a evry Tracter dat i own

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Ma mex'can farmhans Gonzalez an' José

Seems ta greet'cha wit' a sly grin, when i's look away

Dey's ridiculed ma Ranch, treatin' me with Glee

Now all dem Village Boys is linin' up to work for me

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Every Sunday i's-a drivin' yer to Church in ma Fowerd

Pay ma tithe to the Preacher an' give Thanks to the Lord

While you's-a chained to yer Trailer wit'sum high yield feed

     

I'm-a Greetin' every cop on the way dat i meet

An' when dat Negro Choir sing the Amazing Grace

I thenk the Loard shore works en Mysterious Ways..

(   THEE EYAND  )

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