Monday, April 28, 2025

Down On Karl Johan Street

 


A Song originally released by Jerry Paycheck and his friend, the Late Great Skandinavian Skald and Poet Alfdan Mossberg. Their charming portrayal of an average Night out in the Norse Capital is neither an exaggeration nor lacking in depth and vivid imagery.

( Marie Simonsen, Dagbladet )



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Set Playback Speed to 1.1 or 1.15


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( 1 )


They're Taking Footage Of The Gang War


They're Selling Fake Id's


Sunbeds Are Filled With Northsea Workers


And A TV Crew Is On The Scene


Here Comes The Gender Equality Yenta


She Seems To Think She's Someone Quite Big


She Got One Hand Chained To The Striptease Dancer


The Other One Buried In Her Slip


And The Riot Police They Loiter 


With Blood Running From Their Teeth


As The Lady And I Look At The World Tonight


Down From Karl Johan Street. .



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(2 )


 

The Blue-eyed Blonde There Looks So Pretty


As She's Lulling Through Her Crooked Smile


She Got Both Hands In Her Back Pockets


Synnøve Svabø Style


 Some Little Shit Is Desperately Try'na Get Laid


"Hey Baby I Know You're Mine"


And Someone Yells: Why don't you just fuck off


We Don't Need Your Stupid Pick Up Lines..


And The Only Ones now Still Around


After The Ambulance Left The Beat


Are The Boys In Blue As They're Making Rounds


Down On Karl Johan Street



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( 3 )


The Full Moon Tries To Go In Hiding


But The Stars They Sparkle So Nice



And Futurist Johan Galtung



Already Fears For His Life


And Except For Cain And Abel


And a strung out Titten Tei


Everyone Is Busy Making Love


Or They Just Sit And Wait For The Rain


And The One Last Good Samaritan


Grabs His Damage Report Sheet


For Another Crazy Circus Tonight


Down On Karl Johan Street



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( 4 )


Synnove Solbakken's Working The Corner


She Scares Me More Than The Rest Of Her Crew


Looking As Old As Mother Theresa


Well, Yesterday She Turned Twenty-two..



She Told Me Death Sounds So Romantic


She's Strapped In Kevlar 'gainst HIV


Her Profession Is Her Religion, She Said


Fuck This Life, I'd Rather Hang From A Tree


And Even If Her Gaze Is Turned


Against The Rainbow That The Fires Meet


She's Taking Her Sweet Time To Stare


Down On Karl Johan Street



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( 5 )


 

Jostein Gaarder, Dressed Up As Egon Olsen



With A Suitcase Full of 'Seventh Sense'


Passed By Here, About An Hour Ago



With Harry Dynamite His Best Friend


He Looks Just Like a 40 Year Old Virgin


With The Cigarette That He Bums


As He's Starting To Sniff the Exhaust Pipes


And Yell The Alphabet On Top Of His Lungs



Hell There Ain't Really That Much Left Of Him


But He's Still Famous For More Than One Feat


Like Playing The Electric Dulcimer


Down On Karl Johan Street



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( 6 )


Along The Avenue They Put Up Torches


They're Getting Ready For The Feast


And Old Andersen From Skumaker Gatan


Even Dressed Up As A Gay Priest


They Fed That Little Shit With A Teaspoon


He Thinks He's God That Little Useless Turd


 They Murdered Him With Self-confidence


And Poisoned Him With Words


And Andersen Counsels the Skinny Girl


'Bout damn Time you get back to your Suite..


And That Little Shit Got A Fine For Just Walking


Down Karl Johan Street



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( 7 )


Doktor Apeberg Has Gathered His World


In A Jockstrap Made From PVC


And All His Sexless Patients



Try To Break Up Some Bricks Of Tea


While His Nurse, And Some Westside Losers 


Hand Out Flour Sacks Filled With Mold


And A Business Card With The Smallprint


"May God Rest His Rotten Soul"


And You Can Hear Them Play The Recorder


As The Neighbors Are Smoking Their Weed


If You Lean Out The Window And Listen


Down On Karl Johan Street



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( 8 )


The Street Workers Showed Up At Midnight


With The Dirty Committee's Twelve     

  

They Pulled Shotguns And Rounded Up Everyone


More Competent Than Themselves


Then They Lead Them To The Factory


With The Heart-Attack-Machine


That's Fastened To Their Shoulders


And Then The Kerosene


Was Poured Down From Oslo Town Hall


By Venture Capitalists Pledged To Greed  

 

To Make Sure Noone Can Escape


Down On Karl Johan Street



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 ( 9 )


May God Bless Draugen Oil Field


The Ferry's Leaving As The Engines Roar


And Everyone's Shouting, Kom Igjen Guttar..


Which Side Are You Fighting For ?


Claes Gill And Arnulf Overland 


Were In A Scrap On The Captain's Bridge


While The Door Guards Handed Out Anemones 


And The Orchestra Played A Jig


And From The Windows Facing Westward


You'd See The Mermaids Rise From The Deep


While Noone's Even Making Sense Anymore


Down On Karl Johan Street



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[  INTERLUDE  ]



[ INTERLUDE ]


[ INTERLUDE ]


[ INTERLUDE ]



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( 10 )


Yeah, I Got Your Letter Yesterday


Before I Broke The Key To My Door


When you asked me for a yard of hanging Rope


Was That Some Kind Of Irony For The Poor?


All The People That You Mentioned


I Know Them All But I Won't Play Their Games




I All Had To Give 'em New Faces


I All Had To Give 'em New Names


Right Now I Have A Hard Time Reading, Stop Wasting..


Your Time With Another Sheet


Cause The Post Office Already Ran Out Of Stamps


Down On Karl Johan Street



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( OUTRO )


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( OUTRO )


( OUTRO )


( OUTRO )




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